Everything about his legendary journey in this world.

19 October 2021

Narsisismo at ang mundo ng social media

Nakababahalang isipin na sa panahon ngayon higit sa pagiging isang kasangkapan sa pakikipag kapwa-tao ay para bagang nagiging daan ang social media sa pagpapakita ng narsisismo. Wala namang masama na ipagdiwang ang iyong kaginhawaan, gawing bukas na aklat ang buhay, o kaya’y ipaalam sa mundo ang iyong mga galaw. Subalit ang nakababahala ay para bang nagiging peke o minsan naman ay sobra na ang iilan sa pagpapakilala sa kanilang pagkatao at pagpapahayag sa kanilang sarili. 

Ayon sa isang kilalang medical website, ang narsisismo ay ang lubhang pagkalulong sa sarili ng isang tao kung saan ay kanya ng isinasawalang bahala ang mga nasa paligid. Dagdag pa nila, bagamat lahat tayo ay may okasyonal na pagpapakita ng mga katangian narsistik, ang mga taong lulong sa narsisismo ay tuluyang kinakaligtaan ang kapakanan ng iba at tanging kanilang pansariling interes na lamang ang binibigyang importansya.

Sa pag usbong ng social media, naging mas laganap ang pagkakagiliw ng tao sa pagbenbenta sa sarili. Sabi ko nga sa isa pang likha ay hindi ito yung literal na pagbenenta ng katawan kahit na mayroon din namang ganyang galawan sa online world ngayon. Ang pinupunto nito ay ang pagbebenta sa sarili para pag-usapan, maging viral, o di-kayay para maipakita na masaya ka o nagiging matagumpay ka sa buhay. 

Bago ko ituloy ang diskusyon ay nais ko ng pangunahan kayo na karapatan ng bawat isa sa atin na ipagdiwang ang ating mga kasiyahan at kaluwalhaitan sa buhay gaano man kaliit o kalaki ito sa paningin ng iba at higit na walang masama kung atin itong isambulat sa mundo. Ang masama ay kapag sumobra na. Ika ngay, lahat ng bagay ay nagiging masama kapag sumusobra. 

Ngunit kaylan ngaba masasabing tayo ay sumusobra na at tayo ay nagiging narsistik na? Ayon sa isang health journal, ang mga taong may Narcistic Personality Disorder o NPD ay masasabing nabubulag sa pansariling kahalagahan. Kadalasan silay ay nagiging mapagmataas at grandioso. Nagkakaroon rin sila ng pantasya ng pagiging makapangyarihan, ng kagandahan, ng pagiging matagumpay, at ng katalinuhan. Marami sa mga taong may NPD ay pinapalobo at ipinagyayabang ang kanilang mga tagumpay at abilidad. 

Kadalasan ay nanghihingi ng atensyon at paghanga mula sa ibang tao ang mga taong narsistik. At sa panaho ngayon, nagiging behikulo para sa kanila ang social media upang makamit ang mithiing ito. Marami sa kanila ay nagiging mapagmataas lalo na sa mga taong kanilang tinuturing na masa mababa ang antas sa lipunan. Mayroon rin silang pinalobong sense of entitlement at lubhang kinahuhumalingan nila ang kanilang estado sa buhay na para sa kanila ay kinaiingtan ng iba. Ang mga narsistik na tao ay uhaw sa papuri at atensyon kaya namay angkop para sa kanila ang kasalukuyan disenyo ng social media kung saan ang mga tao ay maaaring magbigay ng mga papuri at reaksyon. 

Isang mahalagang aspeto na masasabing mong ang isang tao ay nagiging narsistik ay kapag hindi nya tinatanggap ang kritisismo. Sa mundo ng social media ngayon ay kadalasang kinukutya o kaya ay ginagamitan ng ad hominem ang mga kritisismo kaysa sa sagutin ng maayos. Ganito rin ang asta nga mga taong narsistik, kapag may pinuna ka sa kanila ay tiyak na aatakihin nila ang iyong pagkatao at hahanapan ka ng butas imbes na sagutin o kaya ay akuin ang kanilang pagkakamali.

Ang mga taong narsistik ay kadalasang hindi nakikinig sa iba sapagkat tingin nila’y sila lang ang tama. Kadalasang nanggagamit sila ng tao para sa pansarili nilang interes. Higit pa, sila ay kulang sa kakayahang umintindi at makiramdam. At ngayon sa mundo ng social media, mas napapalubha pa ang mga dikanais-nais na katangiang ito. Ang mga narsistik sa mundo ng social media ay kadalsang hindi kayang makipagtalo gamit ang katotohan at datos sapagkat mas pinipili nilang maging self-absorbed – na keyso opinion nila yun at dapat respetuhin, na keyso alam nila sa sarili nila na sila ang tama. 

Isa pang nakababahala sa paglaganap ng mga taong narsistik sa virtual world ay ang pagkahilig nila na kontrolin ang lahat ng mga nasa kanilang paligid at kapag hindi nasunod ang kanilang gusto, sila ay nagagalit o kaya ay pinuputol nila ang kanila ugnayan sa taong hindi sumunod sa kanila. Ika ngay, mas gusto ng mga taong narsistik ang mga taong uto-uto at sunod-sunoran lamang. Pero kahit na ang mga taong narsistik ay pinapakita na sila ay nakahihigit, sila ay may nakakubling kawalan ng kapanatagan at tiwala sa sariling kakayahan. Kaya nga mas pinipili nilang ipagyabang ang mga bintahe nila sa ibang tao.

Sa mundo naman ng social media, kapag may pinuna ka tiyak na tatanungin ka nila ano ba ang naitulong mo? Sino ka ba? Ano ba ang naabot mo? Para bang wala kanang karapatan na magbigay ng opinion at kuro-kuro kapag wala kang napatunayan sa buhay. Para bang sila lamang ang may monopolyo sa kung ano ang tama. Wag naman sanang ganon, mas maigi ang diskusyon na nakabase sa facts at sa datos at hindi sa mga walang basehang tiktok video o sa mga pekeng artikulo ng mga troll page. 

Ganun paman ay dapat na mahalin at intindihin parin natin sila. Ika nga ni Mother Theresa, “People are unrealistic, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway.” Gaano man ka self-absorbed ang mga tao sa social world, tandaan natin na higit sa ano paman, pag-intindi at pagmamahal ang dapat nating igawad sa kanila. 


10 October 2021

Thought Catalog: On Political Polarization



If only people can stop electing politicians based on their family names, celebrity status, fame, and false promises; If only people learn to distinguish between public servants from politicians; if only people elect based on competence and not on political leanings; then we can have a better Philippines. But the sad truth is that most of us tend to polarize the elections.

We stick to one color despite know that you can’t build a rainbow with just one shade – that you can’t achieve balance by letting all the stones sit on one side. That you can’t talk of unity when you shun your opponents instead of listening to them.

The truth is that none of us can have the monopoly on what is right for our country. We need to collectively work, we need to debate, to argue, to reason why we pick one over another. Because at the end of the day, we rise as a nation of one collective view and not as individuals of different opinions.

We have to talk, and we have to listen. Most importantly, we need to work with one another instead of being polar opposites. At the end of the day, the essence of our dominance as a species is our ability to unite and stand as one against every adversity that comes along our way.

20 July 2021

Thought Catalog: On Freedom


Of all the virtues of this world, one that has always been curtailed is freedom. In fact, freedom is almost impossible to achieve simply because we live in a world where order is needed – where we are bound by rules and laws. It is unarguably correct to assert that there is no order if by all means every individual is given the absolute free will – the luxury of doing whatever he wishes to do. And so we are posed with the questions: How can we value freedom if we are unable to experience it in its purest sense? Why do we continue to aspire for freedom yet take compromises to ensure societal order? What does it really mean to have freedom in this modern world?

This exposition on freedom is anchored on extrapolating the value of freedom and the reality that there is no absolute freedom, that in fact we are bound not only by our free will but by the rules of nature and of our society.

Eternal Vigilance is the Price of Liberty

Perhaps one of the strongest philosophical maxims about freedom is the quote “Eternal Vigilance is the Price of Liberty.” The proverbial implications of this statement make you wonder if it is possible to achieve absolute freedom. One can say that in order to achieve absolute freedom, you must have total control of what belongs to you. You need to carefully and religiously guard your properties, your personal space, the things that you considered part of your identity. If any of these gets violated or taken away from you, then your freedom had been curtailed.

Nevertheless, this curtailment of personal freedom is actually essential to ensure the coequal existence of the freedom of other people. So in a sense, your freedom curtails the freedom of other people whereas other people’s freedom can curtail yours. This duality is a little problematic when we want to establish absolute freedom, and so we are left with the notion that we must be in constant guard of our freedom lest we want the freedom of others to prevail over our own freedom.

There is no absolute freedom

The philosophical debate on freedom is exemplified in what we call as absolute freedom. The quintessential question commonly posed in these discussions is to what extent can the freedom of a person be - and if it is limitless and boundless what stops us from achieving such absolute freedom. Sadly, despite any effort, all these would still end up with an impasse for there is no such thing as absolute freedom. Nonetheless, it is absolute freedom that we must seek. It is just quite confusing because why seek something that is nonexistent? For me, the reason why we have to seek absolute freedom is simple. That is that as humans we must satiate our eternal desire to be at the apex of our existence. And this never-ending desire while wicked is essential to our very existence.

At the end of the day, it is obvious that freedom is something that can only be achieved to a certain point but not in its purest form. That is to say that freedom is not absolute but it is resolute and it should and must always be resolute. It should always be a goal that all of us must seek. It should always remain a core value of our society and our existence.


15 May 2021

Thought Catalog: On the WPS issue

In The Art of War, Sun Tzu wrote:

…the art of using troops is this: When ten to the enemy's one, surround him; When five times his strength, attack him; If double his strength, divide him…

A strategy imbued in the political system of Communist China is what we commonly call "divide and conquer." If it is not still clear to you, the Chinese government has employed numerous strategic and political maneuvers to divide our nation when it comes to the WPS issue. Sadly, with all the blame game and animosity among Filipinos, it appears that their strategy is winning. And if this continues, we will be left with nothing but a lost cause.

We should remind ourselves that the real enemy here is not Duterte or his minions nor is it Carpio or Del Rosario or Trillanes. The real enemy is the Chinese Government who is trying to exploit what is rightfully ours - of course, there are a lot of technicalities about our claim. However, it saddens me when a lot of Filipinos are finding and highlighting faults in our claim instead of finding better justification, instead of earning international support. This is unbecoming of a Filipino. If we truly love our country, we must at all cost protect its sovereign rights, protect its territorial claims including the EEZ.

The president's actions and words are truly sad. He, as the father of our nation, should not shut down even the smallest glimmer of hope that we have when it comes to these territorial claims. Our victory may be a piece of paper but surely it's better than nothing. Of course, other strategies may work but it's just so wrong that he gives vindication and affirmation to China's claim. If there is an amicable way to settle it, we should be the one giving China leeway and not the other way around. 

I hope that we Filipinos change the perspective that we must either be an anti or a pro nor should we be neutral. We need to be critical when it comes to bad policies and we must support the good ones. For this fight, I personally believe that raising the white flag is one of the bad moves this current admin has taken.

27 February 2021

Why I backpacked alone and why you should


On this day two years ago, I decided to step out of my comfort zone. I did my very first international backpacking alone. It took me to my mid-twenties to do so due to a number of reasons but mainly because I was hesitant and fearful that it could turn awry for me.  But there I was, forging memories in a foreign land.

As humans, we are designed to be social beings. We generally appreciate the joy of company and are always looking for the safe and secure feeling of being with the people we trust. The truth is that when you go on unchartered territories and in this case to a new country, you'd certainly want to spend it with people who matter to you not just because you want to share the moment with them but more importantly because you find it comfortable. 

But as they always say, what makes you comfortable does not let you grow. Well, this is very debatable and certainly a clichĆ©. But in this case, I can personally attest that it holds a lot of merits. Traveling alone can really open you to new frontiers. It will let you discover other sides of yourself that you have not taken notice of. You will embark on new experiences that you would have never done had you been with people who know you. 

While I do not discount the fact that it is still a hit or miss adventure and is certainly not everyone’s cup of tea, going solo in another country is something worth exploring and I do recommend that you try it even just once. 

So I’m telling you right now, give yourself a chance to explore things you have never done before. Travel and try to travel alone. There is so much to discover in the world beyond those boarding gates and there is way more to know within thyself especially when you take a path that you've never been before. 

Laag na!

Tips:

šŸ‘Œ Plan and travel within your budget (Ayaw pangutang para ilaag)

šŸ‘Œ Go light and seek for authentic experience (I prefer less touristy places and mga open access.)

šŸ‘Œ Meet people. (I have had many chance encounters with a lot of great people during these travels.)

 šŸ‘Œ Enjoy every moment. You are given 86,400 seconds each day. Don't let a second spoil the remaining 86,399.