On moving on, the principle of reciprocity and the jeepney culture

In the Philippines today, the moment you stand opposing or questioning the king who sits in the Palace or the acts of any of his henchmen, you will be branded yellow, bayaran, and a liberal who knows nothing but utter complaints.
To probe people’s way of thinking is fine, to hold them responsible for their opinion is perfectly understandable, but to resort to shaming, to threat and to question, especially when delivered in a language as foul smelling as the waters of Pasig river, of whether one’s remark is pious or not simply because you see your thoughts as supreme to his is obviously not freedom of expression.

Don’t misunderstand freedom of expression as a blanket authority for someone to lambast a person wrongfully. Don’t misunderstand the right to be heard as a something that gives you the absolute power to speak what’s in your mind. Freedom of expression is way beyond that. It is one of the guiding virtues of this world, and it comes both a right and a responsibility. I hope the followers of the mighty king who is seen as perfect and incorruptible by some of his cult fanatics understand this loud and clear.

Right now, I am losing the last strand of hope about Filipinos and how most of us embrace the internet and social media like a 2-year-old child trying to hold a spoon for the first time. We are better than this. Let’s not make social media home to callous behaviors. Let’s not just embrace everything on the web as the truth. Let us ask and verify information. Let’s not share information coming from fake sites. It really hurts when people use expletives and bash other people for voicing their opinion. Let us respect one another. Again, everybody is free to express their mind as long as it is done with propriety.

On Moving On

I have written my opinion about the Marcos burial at the LNMB and why I believe it is unjustified. As I go rethink about it and with all the recent events unfolding, all I can deduce is that this is not a case of moving on. When people say that we should move on in this manner, I cannot help but cringe. The pictures that flash in my mind about the Marcos regime based on the personal accounts of martial law victims are utterly horrific. I cannot help but ask why people are so willing to forgive this man who until the last of his breath has stood that he has done nothing wrong to this country and its people. What’s worse is that his family seems to be unapologetic about what transpired during some of the darkest years of the history of our country as if it never happened. How can we move on when the perpetrators are still proud of an era of poverty, corruption, and injustice? Worst, some perilous powers are now painting it to appear as the “golden years” of this country. No, we should not be in favor of this kind of moving on. This is detrimental to the core of our independence and our quest for justice.

I am not against moving on, but I believe we should do it the right way. We must move but in a way where there is acceptance and recognition of mistakes. We should move on through learning and making sure that what has gone wrong will never happen again. Moreover, we should all stand that moving on is about giving the much-deserved justice to the victims and their families. Moving on is not about forgetting. It is not about giving credence to someone whose crimes to humanity has created wounds that may take forever to heal. The moving on that we must seek should be genuine and not filled with lies.

On the Principle of Reciprocity       

While it’s better to give than to receive, it surely is best if we can mirror the kindness that we get from other people. The maxim “do unto others what you want others to do unto you” in its many forms is considered to be one of the oldest ethical teachings of the world. But it is actually a superficial principle – something that can be interpreted along the spectra of positive to negative. From “an eye for an eye” in Hammurabi’s Code to Buddha’s “let a man overcome anger by kindness, evil by good" and to Confucius' words “do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you”, the application of the ethics of reciprocity is a matter of personal preference and opinion.

Why am I talking about this? The reason is that in our country this seems to be exhaustively used and abused. Our notion of “utang na loob” requiring to be repaid with acts of kindness, that regardless of whether right or wrong must be carried through, perfectly fits this brand of behavior. Recently, I also noticed that we also have the belief that if we want to avoid the possible menace that may be brought by the black sheep of our society; we might as well do something to eradicate them regardless of whether the method we use is morally upright or not.

There is also the existence of counter-attacks. When the king and his henchmen is questioned about some of their unfounded and twisted beliefs and words, instead of elucidating and educating people by embracing such criticism with an open mind, the king would rather counter-attack and let his henchmen conduct character assassination of those whom he thinks is a hindrance to the utopia of his liking. When people only want to point that there is dirt in the eye, the king’s side would immediately seek for the individual’s eye, either destroyed or completely taken, rather than work to clean his own.

All these are childish acts that are way out of the norms. As a nation which promotes democracy and due process of law, these are completely crooked and against the principles of liberty, justice, and equality. But what can we do? In a country where propaganda is news and people are driven by memes and swayed by troll accounts, we have gone far worse than just a simple slide to the downside of the strip.

By Keith Kristoffer Bacongco from Davao, Philippines - beep beep jeep!, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=9628465

On the jeepney culture

Public transport in the Philippines is one of the finest. We actually have very accommodating drivers who would let 30 people squeeze in a PUJ whose passenger capacity is 24. We have responsible commuters who while literate are not able to distinguish a no loading and unloading sign and would stand right beside it to wait for the same jeepney and become the 31^st passenger. We also have a great drive for music as a craft with our street children who would run and cling to jeepneys amidst the risk of an accident just to offer you a taste of the yuletide season. Mind you, these street children are even reassuring with their explicit claim that they are not snatchers or thieves; they are really there to offer Christmas songs to the beautiful ladies and handsome bachelors.

There is also FIFO or the first in first out belief. As if getting close to the driver’s seat would let someone acquire a highly contagious disease, passengers are more than willing to fill the stern part of the jeepney first. Well, maybe the reason is that we are just too careful not to touch those bacteria-laden coins and bills as passengers pass their fare towards the driver.

If you really want to know the truth about people, let them ride a jeepney, and you’ll uncover their personality with a breeze. There are the social elites who think they are riding their private vehicles with their precious bags occupying the seats reserved for the asses of the masses. There are the group road-trippers who believe jeepneys are extensions to coffee shops and boutiques where they can discuss their woes in life while others are expected to not hear it. There are the lovers on a tight budget who think a public display of affection is a cultural norm now in our country. There are the sleeping beauties (sometimes beasts), the I can still fit in there, the clingers, the power rangers, and many more. Another thing worth pointing is that while I think being sexy and dressing sexy is not a disability, I believe drivers have it the other way around.

It is amazing how the mundane public utility jeepney has become the home to a unique culture. From the drivers to the commuters, Filipinos surely have embraced PUJ as part of their daily lives – as part of something that has gone to be a norm with all its good and bad sides.

Sadly, as long as the jeepney culture exists, we Filipinos will be nothing but individuals filled with self-entitlement and ego. We will stay like this until the end of the world, which is the time when Trump accidentally hits the launch button. :D   

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Tamang Timpla ng Buhay: Pait at Tagumpay

Ang prinsipyo ng dualidad ay makikita sa lahat ng aspeto ng pisikal, metapisikal at pilosopikal na bahagi ng mga bagay at buhay sa mundo kabilang na ang tao. Nariyan ang konsepto ng mabuti at masama, umaga at gabi, langit at impyerno, liwanag at kadiliman, mainit at malamig, at marami pang iba. Likas na nahubog ang kamalayan ng tao sa pagkakaroon ng dalawang magkabila at magkasalungat na katangian o sukat. Dualismo ang tawag dito at mas nauna pa itong mahinuha ng tao kaysa sa pagkakaroon ng wika at kakayahang makipagusap.

Isa sa mga sinaunang kamalayan sa bansang Tsina ay ang Yin Yang. Ito ay isang pilosopiya na nagsasabing ang buhay ng tao ay binubuo ng dalawang aspeto, positibong elemento at negatibong elemento. Para daw maging maligaya at makabuluhan ang buhay ay dapat balanse at hindi lalamang ang isa sa dalawang elementong ito. Hindi naman daw masama ang magnasa ng purong ligaya, subalit nararapat na tanggapin natin na kailangan na minsan makatikim tayo ng pait para matuto at mas tumatag. Ayon nga sa isang makaluman turo, ang sakit na ating nararamdaman ay nagpapaalala sa atin na tayo ay buhay pa at nandito sa isang diperpektong realidad na kung tawagin ay kasalukuyan.

Sa buhay ng tao, marami ang masasabi nating pait. Kasama na rito ang mga problema, mga sakuna, mga kabiguan at higit sa lahat mga pangarap na nanatiling pangarap lamang. Tunay na masaklap ang realidad subalit hindi ito nangangahulugan na walang puwang ang ligaya sa ating buhay. Ang tagumpay ng tao, maging ito ay tagumpay sa pag-iisip, tagumpay sa pag-ibig, tagumpay ng mithiin o tagumpay na pisikal ay nariyan para balansehin ang timbangan ng buhay. Ngunit dapat alalahanin na dapat hinay-hinay lang sa pagtamasa ng saya na dala ng tagumpay. Minsan ay mapaglaro ang tadhana at kaya nitong gawing makulimlim ang umaga kahit na tirik na tirik ang araw.

Sa huli ay mahalagang isapuso natin na ang buhay na ito ay biyayang handog sa bawat isa sa atin. Linangin natin ang ating mga sarili at gawin makabuluhan ang paglalakbay sa mundo. Walang masama kung masubsob kaman sa kangkungan nang maraming beses at tunay na kasiya-siya kung naaabot mo ang alapaap ng tagumpay. Kapag nagsama na ang dalawa, mababalanse nga naman at magiging mas  kapanapanabik ang biyahe mo sa mundo. Kaya relaks lang dapat. May tamang timpla ang buhay. Ito ay may halong pait at kasamang tagumpay.  

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A Mother's Legacy

People say that age is just a number and that it is utterly irrelevant. While I see this as an indisputable truth, I cannot stop myself from thinking of something special to give to my Elaine. In three days time, she is turning 50. She's an independent woman who seems to have no need for people to look for her. She is special and I cannot fathom how I would have survived in this world without the things she has sacrificed for me.

I reached through my pocket before releasing an audible sigh. Will she love the gift I will be giving her? I was contemplating as I looked at the worn-out boots that I am wearing.

“How many years have you been working as a garbage collector?”

“It’s my twentieth year in this job. I am just happy that I will not die a garbage collector John.”

“Good for you! You are doing something noble man. I salute you for doing this.”

I drank the remaining beer and pondered on the remarks of my new partner. John is a young man and I really envy his dedication. Was I like him when I was young, I may have given my daughter and my mother a comfortable life. After the short stay in the pub, I decided to head home.

Along the alleys of this city, I get to feel the presence of Elaine. She is not a famous celebrity. She is not a renowned person. Few knew her. Few knew her story. It was this few people whom I can vouch will stand proud of the real Elaine de Grass.

It was one fateful night of December 1980. Elaine was on her way to the dorm when a group of four college students forced her to hop into their car. Unable to fight, Elaine submitted herself and was brought to the big blue house on the corner of 32^nd and 33^rd Avenue. She wanted to shout for help but her fear capsized her desire to flee. She was drugged up and was raped. The next morning she was found out lying naked near the central plaza. But rather than being cared as someone in distress and a victim, she was labeled a slut. Her parents died fighting for the justice that Elaine deserves. Sad to say, the money and connection of her captors overwhelmed the truth that lies behind that blue house.

Fifteen years forward, Elaine is a single mother. She struggled to work on three jobs to give her son a good life. In the morning, she would deliver harvests from farms in the southern plains to fresh shops in the city. After all these, she would proceed to her next stop. She’ll need to remain standing for 8 hours as a cashier in one of the stores she delivers vegetables. When the store closes, she will hurriedly go to reach the 5 pm log-in time to the restaurant where she works part time.

The young son she had was never appreciative of Elaine’s effort. He despised her mother for raising him alone. He has been rebellious for he felt that it was Elaine’s fault why he never saw or knew who his father was. He stopped schooling at the age of 14 and went to join a gang. It was typical for him and Elaine to just see each other in prison or police station. Elaine bails him out and he walks away. This is the life he has lived for 10 years until he finally settled with the woman who has changed him. This woman was really amazing but then fate is just a bitter thing. The day she gave birth to a girl, the woman died. Nevertheless, everything that has become of the rebellious boy is owed to this woman. It was this event that made the boy realized how much she has failed his own mother. He reopened his heart to the mother he has never considered to be one.

I can clearly recall how my tears were like never ending as Elaine tells me the truth behind my existence. Elaine, the ever naïve and selfless mother was mumbling as she narrates to me what happened that day. This encounter was exactly 10 years ago but I can still remember how the atmosphere of that day has struck a lightning into the very soul of mine. I was a failure as a son. I failed to treasure the very person who saw my existence as a gift more than a curse. It was that time when I realized that I owe Elaine more than what she has received from me.

Up to now, I still feel the intense sense of guilt and remorse when I see Elaine. I tried my best to make it up with her. Nevertheless, Deep in me lies this haunting of conscience that constantly reminds of how I deprived Elaine the chance to become a mother to a young boy. Being a parent, I know that I could never go beyond what Elaine has done to me. I just don’t know how I can show Elaine the gratitude that is in me. And now, she is turning 50. Alas! 50 years of existence in a world which tried her beyond what she could have taken. 50 years filled with sufferings she did not deserve. I know I have to find something that would make her smile, something that would make her happy. I cannot buy the years back but I can surely do things right now to make this woman know that she is special. 

I came to look at the odds and possibilities. I need to do it now. I have saved enough money for Elaine to start her bakeshop. Every since my younger years, I saw her as a very good baker. She has the flare to make bread delicious beyond taste and smell. I will throw her the best birthday surprise, a bakery of her own. Everything is set. I will be serving my last duty tomorrow as a garbage collector. The resignation which I handed a month ago will take effect and I will be able to get the separation pay which I could add up to finance the bakery.

The streets are filled with spirit of Christmas. The colorful displays of the stores and music somehow consoled my soul. I came to pass a jewelry store and saw something peculiar. There is this necklace which is somehow similar to what Elaine has when she was young. The necklace which I once stole and pawned during my younger years somehow reappeared in front of me. Was this coincidence or a work of fate, I do not know. I have decided to purchase this tomorrow and give it to her. She will surely look gorgeous with this necklace.

My last day at work came and everything went as planned. It was a day of joy and sadness. I am happy to start a new life and I am sad to bid farewell to people who have valued and treated me as a man of dignity. I went to the shop and bought the necklace. On the doorstep of our apartment, I felt something eerie and that feeling exemplified when I found out that nobody is inside. I found a note from my daughter telling that Elaine is hospitalized and that she is accompanying her. I hurriedly grab a cab and went to the hospital. The documents of the bakery and the necklace I wanted to give Elaine are still with me. I am still holding my gifts. I went inside the morgue to see her lifeless body. I was in a state of confusion. I took Elaine to my arms and cried. I once again failed Elaine. I just don’t know. I think it was always meant like this. Maybe, I am really a curse to her and I should have never existed in the first place. It was a long period of grieving and I was just lucky that my daughter was there. She was the one who supported me. If not, I could have not known what to do next.

Two months after Elaine was buried, I am still feeling the pain. I am entering Elaine’s room for the first time after her passing. I was surprised as to how organized it is. Elaine died of cancer. She did not tell any of us but she was aware that she was to die that month. It was devastating. Elaine has remained to her character until the end, an independent woman who tries to do things on her own. I pulled one of the drawers and saw a letter addressed to me. Tears were rolling in my cheeks when I reached under her bed and open a box containing the pair of boots she bought me as Christmas gift. I took the necklace from my pocket and smiled. “Elaine, you will always be the best.” I said to myself. I carefully place the boots back and push the gift box back to where it was.

I just learned that the necklace I was about to give to her is actually the real necklace she once owned. She was actually able to recover it from the pawnshop before and kept it hidden for years. Two days before she died, she sold the necklace to the jewelry store to buy me and my daughter gifts. They are all under her bed… The truth behind Elaine, they all are found under her bed. I just did not mind checking them for I already know enough about this woman… Elaine was the mother I missed to have. Elaine was the mother every child would wish for. Elaine is just extraordinary.

I left the room and went to open the bakery. Now that I have more reasons to be happy, I feel rejuvenated. Everything is set inside so I flipped the sign which reads “Welcome to Elaine’s Bakeshop!”

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